It is interesting to note that when anyone speaks about
abuse some one always asks the question “Why don’t they leave?”
Usually followed with a remark like “I’d never let that
happen to me!”
In most cases people do not realise what is happening until
they are trapped in the circle of abuse.
They live in fear of everything from being perceived as a
bad person, losing all their worldly possessions, losing their kids, fear of
not being able to cope, fear of losing their job and probably the lack of
self-esteem leads to the fear of never finding a healthy relationship.
The word abuse conjures up the image of beating but really
abuse is about torture.
That is torture of another human being by another.
Physical, verbal and mental abuse should all be taken very
seriously however I believe the most damaging is verbal/mental abuse. It is the
subtle way in which it is done from the constant criticism and continual
questioning of ones abilities, to the controlling of finances, movement, who
you see and who you don’t.
When some one tells you that you will burn in hell if you
don’t do this or that it's abuse. It is a threat to get control so that you do
what is being asked.
Both my wife and I have been victims of this type of
thing.
Maybe that is why we get on so well. Maybe that is why we
understand the meaning of what is like to be truly happy never taking anything
or anyone for granted.
Maybe we just don’t want to go there again.
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